boarding | [ April Fools ]

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[ April Fools ]

April Fool's Day was a great day of mischief and japery, and while Kalvin would hardly consider himself a prankster, he could never, ever pass up an occasion to stir up a few laughs.

So that was how he found himself sprawled out on the floor of the library, dressed up just enough to be identifiable as a teacher (slacks instead of jeans, a plain black tank top, his hair slicked back and minimum make-up). A step-ladder lay toppled over at his feet, books from the top-shelf scattered willy-nilly all over the floor, part of a pen stuck to his forehead with fake blood dripping down the side of his face.

Needless to say, it wouldn't be a stretch to call his sense of humor a touch on the morbid side. Poke him and see what happens?

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He didn't think too much of it upon first glance. His eyes first set on the step-ladder and next to the books that lay scattered about the floor. Well, at the very least, no one would even have to guess what happened. An accident like that wasn't a very uncommon occurrence, and it shouldn't cause much injury. Still, just in case, he wanted to check on the victim.

"Are you all ri—" he started, but his words stopped short when he realized two things. The first was that he recognized this person, but— No, that wasn't important. In his forehead there was... a pen!? And he was bleeding! Falling from such a height, was that sort of injury even possible!?

No, this wasn't the time to worry about things like that. Pulling out his cell phone, he quickly started to dial 911.

It was fortunate then, that Kalvin was lying on his back, opened eyed, and could see the phone being whipped out. A successful call to 911 would have pretty much ruined what he thought was a great joke, and he couldn't let that happen.

"Whoa, hey, it's cool!" he yelped, jerking upright, the pen wobbling a bit as he moved. "I'm okay, dude, seriously, put the phone down."

Ritsu jumped back immediately, nearly dropping his phone at first, but instead he clutched it tighter as he held it to his chest where he could feel his heart beating rapidly. The victim who should have been unconscious just spoke to him, after all, and sprang back to life as if nothing had happened at all.

Or did... nothing happen at all? Upon closer inspection, should that pen be moving like that? Could this have been a joke? He wasn't sure what to make of it at all, but he wouldn't have his answers without asking the questions first. Closing his cell phone and successfully terminating the connection, he took a deep breath before continuing.

"Are you having trouble with the police?" he questioned somewhat dryly. After all, that was what prompted a jumpy reaction from the other. Wouldn't someone normally want medical treatment in this sort of situation?

"Uh, no, but if you call an ambulance over a prank, then I will." Not to mention with the headmistress, oof. Really didn't feel like getting fired over a joke. "I mean, it's April Fool's and all, but the last time I checked, getting prank calls when you're in the life-saving business isn't exactly funny."

Eddie was an experienced veteran of horror movies, and he knew a set-up when he saw one. It was the pen that did it, really - he'd witnessed his fair share of real violence and accidents, too, and they never looked like this. Though he had to admit, the blood wasn't too bad, and Kalvin had posed himself well.

The thock of his boot heels on the floor announced his arrival, and the groundskeeper crouched down next to the 'body', glancing around to make sure no one was in visual range.

"Bloody hell, more fucking garbage to take out," he complained, then reached out, found one of the teacher's nipple rings through the tank top, pinched it and twisted.

As a joke, it was only meant to be realistic enough to fool people on the first glance. The pen, and the fake wound holding it in place, were also fabulous, no matter how unlikely they were. It was just an excuse to get out the fake blood, anyway. He knew it wasn't likely in the slightest bit.

It was also really hard not to look and giggle when Eddie came up. He really didn't expect to fool him, they had talked about gore and horror movies on their 'date,' after all, but he figured he could at least expect some fun.

What he wasn't expecting was the titty twister.

He let out a screech that was part pain, mostly indignant, and swiped at Eddie's face with his nails. "You asshole!"

"April Fool's...?" he replied with obvious irritation. Mostly, he was mad at himself for getting so worked up when it was nothing but a joke. Rather, he felt that there were subjects that shouldn't be joked about, and this happened to fall under that category. But he was aware that his tastes were going to differ from others, so the best thing he could do was just let it go, even if it still bothered him. For now, he'd set his attention elsewhere.

"All right, I get it. You fooled me," he admitted, still sounding decidedly unamused as he shifted his attention to the scattered books. He sighed as he started picking them up; replacing them was going to be a pain, but it wouldn't be fair to leave it to the librarian, after all.

"Yeah, April Fool's. Also known as All Fool's Day. Or April's Fish in France. Happens every year, all around the world, kind of a just for shits and giggles thing, yanno? And it's not like this was aimed specifically at you."

Jeeeeeeez, what a spoil sport. Kalvin could tell that the other teacher was less than thrilled with him, but he didn't see what the big deal was. No one was hurt, and no one was in trouble. It was just bit of fun.

and the spoil sport was picking up his books. "Hey! What are you doing with those? I'm not done with them yet!"

He didn't care for the explanation, and he didn't care that he wasn't specifically targeted. It didn't change the fact that he worried seriously over a practical joke.

"Please refrain from using the library as a personal playground," he lectured calmly as he began returning the books to their proper shelves. Ahh, there really were so many of them. And there wasn't any guarantee that they wouldn't end up back on the floor again, was there?

"Hey, I got permission!" Wow, who did Ritsu think he was? He was an English teacher, for crying out loud! He loved books! He respected books! There wasn't a drop of fake blood on them, and they weren't any more ruffled than usual. "I'm not some dumb hick who just barged in here and threw the books on the ground! Hell, the Librarian even said they'd go along with it if a student came running for them!"

"Permission?" he echoed back, surprised to hear it. He paused in his task to look back at him for a moment. At the very least, he didn't seem to think he'd done anything so terrible, and... If Ritsu thought on it some more, perhaps it wasn't. Maybe he was only upset because he had fallen for it.

No, no! He couldn't let himself get swept into that line of thinking so easily! But... If he had received permission and even the Librarian was all right with it... Wouldn't that mean that Ritsu was the one being too sensitive? The possibility was out there, so maybe he should sort of... apologize.

"At any rate," he continued, turning away as he resumed reshelving the books, "I'd like it if you would consider the feelings of the person who happens upon your 'joke' in the future."

It didn't come out as much of an apology as he had somewhat intended.

Ritsu is being way too sensitive, in his opinion. It was April Fool's, for crying out loud! You were supposed to expect stuff like this happening! and it wasn't like he let it go far...

He sat sulking on the floor as Ritsu put away the books, looking for all the world like a sullen teenager who'd just been told he couldn't get his lips pierced or something equally silly. At Ritsu's comment, he rolled his eyes and flopped back to the floor, splaying himself out like he was dead again.

"Well, it's not my fault your feelings are hurt," he huffed, grabbing one of the books the other teacher hadn't gotten around to picking up yet and holding it open over his head. "You ever consider being less of a sissy?"

"Whose feelings are hurt!?" he protested at once. He certainly wasn't delighted by the event, but Kalvin seemed to be missing the point Ritsu was trying to express. Perhaps that was because he wasn't expressing it very well, but it should have been obvious without even having to say it!

"And you, have you ever considered acting as more of an example to the student body?" he added, shifting the attention away from himself. "This might have been a single prank, even if a bit extreme, but what if incidents like this increase across the campus? The chances of someone getting hurt will be much greater."

"The one who doesn't know the definition of "fun" and is flipping his dick everywhere, durr!"

He didn't even bother to look up from the book, just started skimming the page for a clue as to what exactly he picked up. Hmm, Jane Eyre. Boring. He set it aside and picked up another, randomly flipping to the middle of the book. Oh, Pride and Prejudice. "Ohh, Mr. Darcy, ohh~"

"And I like to think I'm a pretty good influence on the brats. Teach them to think outside the box, the box being their bank accounts. I don't even know what you're talking about, incidents like this. I tossed books on the floor, laid down, and kicked the ladder over. The pen is silly putty and cornsyrup. Taste it, it tastes like cherries! You worry too much, anyway. Don't you remember when you were in highschool? Getting hurt doing stupid things was half the fun!"

Back in high school... Getting hurt...

It wasn't related to the conversation at hand at all, but those words strung together brought back some unpleasant experiences, nonetheless. In truth, he only had vague recollections of the events themselves, but they left such a fierce impact on him that even now, he found himself dwelling on the emotions alone. It wasn't improving his mood any, to say the least.

"Not everyone would agree with that statement," he replied, though it was quiet. "At any rate, regardless of what you might think the ideal high school experience should be, we have a responsibility to watch over and care for these students. Accidents are bound to happen, but they're not something that should be encouraged."

Eddie jerked back as the hand came up, and the nails only caught him on the chin, but he ended up going back on his ass ... sniggering heavily. "Fucking worth it."

While Eddie sat on his butt and laughed, Kalvin took the opportunity to climb onto his lap and start slugging his shoulders, punctuating each punch with an insult. "Jerk! Buttsmear! Ogre! Brute! What did that nipple ever do to you?"

Oh, well, that was just an obvious open invitation. The groundskeeper wrapped an arm around Kalvin's waist, and then promptly grabbed the ring in the neglected nipple and twisted it, too, grinning.

Which, of course, elicited a squeal from Kalvin, who promptly leaned in and bit Eddie's neck in retaliation.

The big man hissed, which turned into a laughing groan halfway through. He tugged at the ring a little harder, his fingers digging into Kalvin's hip. "You really want to do this here, princess?" he teased, because he sure as hell didn't mind, as long as some admin staff didn't wander by. It might be fun to flip the teacher onto his back ... or hell, stomach ... between the tall shelves of books. He'd never had much else use for libraries, anyway.

Kalvin moaned into his neck, arching up into his fingers. Part of him did, yes, want to do this here, but the part of him that loved books was insisting that was a bad idea, and disrespectful to boot. He huffed in annoyance, punching Eddie's shoulder again, but didn't bother to move his head - he stopped biting him, though.

"You started it, dick."

"I wasn't the one what was lying here with a pen in my head," Eddie argued, and turned his own head, taking advantage of the fact that Kalvin had stopped biting to nudge his head to the side and bite him right back, on the side of the throat, digging his uneven teeth in with a little growl.

"Oh my god," he huffed, tilting his head back to make even more room for Eddie and his biting. "How the flying fuck does a pen in my head translate to "twist my nipples and molest me!"? Like seriously. That was all on you, babe, all on you."

"If you're going to leave yourself wide open like that, you deserve whatever you get," the big man insisted, as his tongue covered a little more ground, and then his teeth did the same, sinking into the flesh at the join of shoulder and neck rather savagely. "Don't know what you fucking expected me to do."

"Hell, I 'unno," he breathed, shuddering a bit at the sharp pain blossoming from his shoulder. "Here, stop that, I wanna kiss you," he added, grabbing Eddie's head and tugging him up, leaning down for a kiss.

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